The End Is Nigh

Tomorrow will mark the occasion of something that occurs extremely rarely. The seven major planetary objects (the Earth, Moon, Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars and Jupiter) will be aligned within 5 degrees of each other. The last time this happened huge catastrophies ensued. Brace yourselves for the end of the world! For those who want to join my cult, of which I am the leader and is called, “This is Not a Cult,” email me at join-cult@fiveandtwenty.com. My followers will be spared tomorrow when the world comes to an end for the non-believers.

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