“Kids, this-piece-of-paper’s-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-know- details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-
say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-officer’s-name-
and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say,” and talked for
forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had
fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there,
and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it
down there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the
pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, there on the
other side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on
the other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the
following words:
(“KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?”)
It’s amazing how much can happen in one year. When a person decides that he is no longer a victim of circumstance and that he is in control of his own life, the possibilities are endless.
He’s happy everyone agrees that everyone is much better off now than they have ever been.
In the course of a year I’ve gone through hurting people I once loved, leaving a job, losing an apartment, not taking a job that might have made me happy (but still poor), losing the ability to pay for a car, moving in with my father, discovering more about myself, getting a decent job and doing well with it, moving to a city, almost going to jail, not putting up with the city when it was no longer the best option for me, reopening my heart to my friends, maintaining an income and the ability to save money for the future, continuing to search for my dream and passion, and uncovering my soul so that through my eyes the true peace, love and happiness I once carried is visible once again.
It’s a lot for one year — the biggest and most important year of my life thus far. Unfortunately it didn’t come without a price. There is a woman in the world who will have a hard time trusting others, will never trust me, and a world of friends and family I will never have because of it. That will always be a missing part of me, but I am so much more of a complete person now than I had been anytime in the past five years.
So the answer is no, I haven’t rehabilitated myself, because this rehabilitation is an ongoing process. I’m still learning about how to be loved and how to love, but now I have supportive, patient, and selfless help in that department.
To be able to see these things with the clarity you seem to have found means you have also grown in wisdom. you are more centered in yourself…and no matter what the job or apartment or relationship, that must be the key to everything.