I got this email from my department’s HR contact yesterday: Due to the holiday (Labor Day) on Monday Septemeber 2nd, all overtime and part-time sheets are due in to me by 12:00 pm Friday, August 30th.
The subject of the email was, “Accelerated Pay Cycle.” The pay cycle has not in fact gotten any faster these last two weeks. (In fact, the last two weeks seem to have dragged along at a rapidly declining pace — maybe they meant a negatively accelerating pay cycle.) The pay cycle has also not increased (another meaning of the word “accelerate”). I do not have to prepare my time sheet faster, just earlier. Silly, silly English.
Internal memos fascinate me. Especially the piss poor use of English.