For some reason, my rommate thought I was moving out tonight. I’m not sure why, since I most definitely told her I was moving out at the end of January. So, there are two new people moving into the apartment at the end of the week. I’m not quite sure how we are going to work this out. If I could find a new place to live by the end of the week, I would gladly move out, but I just don’t see that happening.
Happy new year.
Once again, here I am contemplating moving again. I moved up here to beautiful north Jersey to be closer to a job I no longer have. When my time at that organization ended, I realized there is absolutely no reason for me to continue living up here, so I told my roommate I’d be out by the end of January. At the time, I thought I would have heard a word about the teaching job in south Jersey by now. As it turns out, more items needed to be submitted for my application, which I couldn’t do while in Arizona, and when I returned the district decided to take a holiday vacation and won’t be back in the office until next week.
Today I went to the town to search out apartments close to the school, and I found some good candidates. However, my first dilemma is whether I should be looking for a one-bedroom place or a two-bedroom place. I’m not sure if I can afford a one-bedroom. If I don’t get the job, it’s almost certain I won’t be able to afford to live by myself unless I happen to come across another job that pays a decent amount.
To live in a two-bedroom apartment would make more sense financially, but there is the issue of finding a roommate. My only two options are some dude from Italy who is in the military, or a friend who living with could be a tense situation.
One of a couple of things can happen with this teaching job. The first is that the current band director stays at the high school and a position is opened for an assistant with which he can share the workload. This would be the ideal situation for him, the students, as well as me. The second option is that the director’s supervisor gets his way and moves the current teacher to the elementary school, leaving an opening at the high school for all of the current director’s workload. Since the director has been trying to get an assistant for ten years, and they really need to keep adding more music programs in the high school because of the new standards, this would be an unfavorable position for anyone looking to take over, and even much less favorable for someone stepping in as a first-time full-time music teacher. If this is the case, I don’t think I would want the job anyway.
So, do I move to the location now with the hopes that the first scenario will play out and that I am the one to get the job? If I move and don’t get the job, or it isn’t the job I want, I could be stuck there for a while.
There is, however, a third possibility which I haven’t even counted on. Maybe I should move to an entirely new place (say the Baltimore area) and just start from scratch. Maybe I’d teach, maybe I wouldn’t. I feel I have many skills, but I feel I am pretty unfocused with them. This brings me to my fourth possibility.
Go back to school and get another degree. But in what area of study? Music? Information technology? Linguistics?
Well, there’s still nothing definite on this damn teaching job. I had wanted to be able to fill in as a substitute for the current teacher, but that didn’t work out, with the Arizona trip. Luckilly, I’ve found out about some other open positions and I’m taking steps to get more information about those. The thing is, no one seems to be around to answer phone calls or emails.
There is the possibility that I may just pick myself up, get out of the state, and start over. I hear Seattle’s nice. Baltimore has always interested me. I could be at the perfect stage in my life to do this — have an adventure. Go off some place new and try to discover what I am really passionate about. Maybe it’s teaching, maybe it’s not. It’s been so long since I’ve taught, every so often I wonder if it really is what I want or if I’m even still good at it.
My roommate, while normally pretty unobtrusive, seems to be a little tipsy tonight. She’s carrying on awfully loud, sometimes in English, sometimes in French, sometimes in Giggle-ish, and sometimes in some other language which may not exist except for in her own alcohol-flowing-in-the-blood-stream mind.
Remember how over a month ago I said that one of the things I need to do is work out the problems in my personal relationships? If you don’t remember, this might help. In any case, sometimes they say that things get worse before they get better. In some ways, a few days last week were the worst days of my life. That’s even if you count the days in the car, driving to Florida with my family, back when my brother and I were younger. (It was a tough ride.) Things have a long, long way to go before we reach the “better” part of that statement above, but I am resolved to be the person I need to be. Love is a gift, and I took advantage of those who were generous enough to bestow that gift upon me. By betraying others, people will think twice or three times before trusting me with their heart. Friendships that will be able to recover will be that much stronger based on the connection we will be able to make. I am beginning to understand how to make that connection. The understanding begins with the ability to love myself, and loving myself begins the realization of what I need to do in order to be a person who deserves the love, trust, and faith of others.
It’s going to be a lot of work. It’s going to be a lot of work on my own.
After a little delay, I saw Lord Of The Rings. I was impressed. The countryside in New Zealand is beautiful. It just might have to be my next travel destination. Some day.
Tonight is my last night on vacation in Arizona. Alissa and I had a great time. We flew into Phoenix, stopping over in Pittsburgh without any problems. We picked up our rental car, a little Chevy something-or-other, to get us through the week. After finding our way to the hotel to check in, which was a little bit of a distance from the center of all the action, we traveled back downtown to explore. We managed to catch the first precipitation Phoenix had in a while, and it happened to be a pretty intense hailstorm.
While in Phoenix for a few days, we discovered the Scottsdale area, drove by Camelback Mountain (a mountain — almost in the middle of the city), visited the Phoenix Art Museum and took a tour, took a tour of Taliesin West, Frank Lloyd Wright’s old office and current architecture school, ate in some random good restaurants, took a tour of the Desert Botanical Gardens, and shopped in a mall.
After our time in Phoenix, we traveled up I-17 to Sedona. The first thing we did in Sedona was take a Pink Jeep Tour of the area. Once that was done, we visited some shops and found our hotel. That night, the area got a couple inches of snow. We were lucky to get views of the moutains both with and without snow… I put some of the pictures online for Alissa already, but I’ll have more online at some point.
After more sight-seeing in Sedona, we headed up to the Grand Canyon. Despite the warnings of a Sedonite, we took the “Oak Creek Canyon” scenic route. Even with the snow on the ground, the drive wasn’t too bad. As we climbed up in elevation from 4000 ft. above sea level to 8000, there was only a slight increase of snow on the ground.
The area surrounding the Grand Canyon Park is not that interesting, but the park itself is huge. When we got into town, the first thing we did was head to the IMAX theater to see a movie about the Grand Canyon. It was somewhat interesting. We then headed into the Grand Canyon. By the time we got to a good view, the sun was already setting. The sun set in the west, as expected, which didn’t really make for a breathtaking view. So we decided to come back to the park before dawn to see the sunrise. I’m glad we did even though it meant waking up at 6:00 in the morning. The sun rose over the walls of the canyon on the opposite side of us, and I think the pictures came out pretty good.
We drove around the park for a few more hours taking in the canyon from several different points of view. When we tired of that, we headed back to Phoenix, which is where I am now. We decided on a whim to take a different way to the city, which ended up putting us in the middle of the Painted Desert and a Navajo Reservation. Tomorrow morning, we’ll be on our way to the airport, and soon after that, on our way home.
Tomorrow morning I’m getting on a plane and heading towards Arizona. If anyone’s curious, I’m taking US Air flight 181 to arrive in Pittsburgh at 10:45 am, and then US Air flight 155 to arrive in Phoenix at 2:29. I’ll take lots of pictures and I’ll try to have them online at some point.
As I predicted, I did not yet receive my first December paycheck from my recently-ex-employer. I’ll give them until today’s mail is delivered. For what it’s worth, here’s my horoscope:
It may be necessary for you to stand up for yourself today, dear Pisces. Don’t hesitate to get aggressive with someone if this is what it takes to get through to him or her. Just make sure that you are basing your action off of facts that you know to be true. Reality of the situation could be a bit clouded today so make sure you proceed with care. There is an electric energy in the air today that will help fuel your fire.
So far, I have had no luck finding a Temp Job for the time I will be in NJ through the end of the year. Calls to agencies have proved fruitless and frustrating. My only hope is that while I am in away in Arizona, I get calls from the agencies as they try to set me up with something for when I get back. I have little faith in my recently-ex-employer to actually deliver on the delivery of my December paychecks as promised. I have been sick for days, with a fever most likely, and I finally broke down and saw a Doctor. This Doctor was recommended by a friend of a friend and I’m not sure if he is someone I’d go back to. He prescribed some prescription drugs — a first for me. (When I was young, I never went to the doctor due to a fever. My parents must have been magical.) The Doctor, while concerned about the color of my mucous (clear or not clear is the question), did not seem too much concerned about anything else.
Today I spent working more on my substitute teaching application. The director who is currently at the school where I want to teach suggested I substitute for him for a few days this coming Christmas, but he also suggested I still look elsewhere as well for a teaching job since there’s still no absolute guarantee that there will even be a position. So, I spent more time today looking for positions. I emailed some of the people I’ve worked with over the past few years and maybe they’ll have some leads for me.
What really bugs me is the fact that I’m not working right now. Sure, maybe I’ve been overworked for the last few years, but not working makes me feel pretty worthless at the moment.
Plus, I’m out of tissues.
Including employment. You, readers, may have noticed that I haven’t been entirely happy in my current situation at work. Now the only difference is there is no situation, and that’s okay.
I will still be getting paid through the month of December, and those checks as well as ones from a temp job should give me some extra money when I could really use it. I knew when I was moving up here to northern New Jersey that it would be temporary, and I did forsee moving somewhere else by the end of the year, so basically everything is right on schedule. I’ll probably be moving to somewhere in southern New Jersey at the end of the month.